Is Your Business Coach Manipulating You? 5 Unethical Tactics in the Online Coaching Space

I was at a crossroads in my life. After years as a fitness & nutrition coach (which was basically my escape from corporate career), I knew I wanted a change but wasn’t really sure what direction to take. I was hoping to find clarity and sound business advice, which led me to invest in a coaching program that promised to help me figure it out, but as you might be guessing, there was some business coach manipulating involved.

What followed was an eye-opening experience with predatory marketing in coaching – a phenomenon that’s surprisingly common yet rarely discussed openly. The manipulation wasn’t obvious at first; it revealed itself gradually through subtle patterns that undermined my confidence while creating dependency. And let me be clear from the start: whether someone calls themselves a coach, mentor, consultant, or advisor—none of these roles should involve manipulation.

Let me be clear: I’m genuinely hopeful. Hope is my core motivation in Human Design, and I believe there are people who genuinely want to help others. Some charge a little, some charge more, and that’s completely okay. I don’t want this article to be a place where you dismiss all coaches or mentors. I don’t want to create fear.

What I want to share are the tools, the subtle insights into how business coach manipulating might look. Of course, this varies from person to person – some coaches display huge red flags while others are more subtle. I’m not even sure if they’re doing it on purpose, so I’m not here to blame anyone or position myself as a victim. But I want you to know this because I think it’s so fucking important.

(If you’re interested in learning about more obvious and disturbing patterns in the industry, check out the Girl Boss Red Flags podcast and Sheology by Dr Robyn McKay, particularly the “Bewitched” episodes.)

The Rising Trend of Business Coach Manipulating in the Online Space

Why Fake Business Coaches Are Proliferating in Today’s Digital Landscape

The coaching industry has exploded in recent years, creating space for both legitimate professionals and those employing questionable tactics. In some coaching spaces, a scarcity and victim mindset can be subtly imprinted into your psyche. As I discovered, business coach manipulating might be quite subtle – almost unnoticeable at first – while in others, it’s more extreme.

This is important to discuss because you might not realize what you’re getting yourself into. Coaches can present themselves as using particular methodologies (in my case, the coach claimed expertise in NLP and Human Design) but then fail to actually implement these approaches. OK, let’s dive into the red flags of the business coach manipulating world.

Red Flag #1 – Selective Attention Patterns

The Attention-Withdrawal Cycle: When Business Coach Manipulating Begins

The first subtle red flag of business coach manipulating appeared when I noticed I received the coach’s attention only when I was “uncertain” and “keeping it small.” As long as I played small, I had her attention. However, when I mentioned any achievements or expertise, she would gently ignore it or comment on something else.

As a Projector in Human Design, I’m particularly attuned to recognition. We Projectors have often experienced not being recognized throughout our lives, so when someone doesn’t truly see us, we feel it in our bodies. This was exactly what I experienced with this coach – I sensed that sometimes she would give me her attention, but never truly recognized me.

I also noticed I had to repeat myself frequently about my business and offerings. She didn’t keep track of what I was doing, showing a lack of genuine interest or organized system for client information—classic signs of business coach manipulating.

Red Flag #2 – Vague Success Promises Without Accountability

Empty Promises: Business Coach Manipulating Through Hope

The coach positioned herself as “the ultimate god” and “highest priest” of the room. I noticed that whenever someone showed even slightly more expertise than she did, she would gently bring them down. It wasn’t obvious – not a slap in the face – but subtle business coach manipulating that you might not notice the first time. However, after experiencing it multiple times, the pattern became clear.

When I mentioned wanting to earn specific amounts of money, she actually tried to turn it against me. This was a major red flag of business coach manipulating – why would a business professional make you feel bad about having clear financial goals? This moment was pivotal for me, making me question why I was paying for this service.

Red Flag #3 – Manufactured Bonding Over Shared Frustrations

Trauma Bonding: Business Coach Manipulating Through Emotional Connection

This is quite heavy business coach manipulating… One of the most troubling tactics was how the coach would bond with clients over shared negative experiences. I witnessed her using one lady’s grief over her brother’s passing to create a connection. In my case, she bonded with me over frustrations about high-ticket coaching spaces that don’t deliver value.

I realized she had created these “special connection points” with at least three clients in the group. Whenever I brought up our shared topic, she would spend 5-10 minutes reinforcing our supposed alignment with a pep talk. This manufactured intimacy made it emotionally difficult to question the relationship, until I saw through the business coach manipulating me.

Red Flag #4 – Isolation Within Group Programs

Strategic Isolation: Business Coach Manipulating Group Dynamics

Despite being in a group program with approximately ten people, I noticed that many weren’t particularly active. There wasn’t much interaction between participants, even not towards the coach which struck me as odd. Only a few people regularly engaged, while others remained mostly silent.

This isolation ensures the coach remains the central source of validation and information. It prevents clients from comparing notes about their experiences or results, which might reveal inconsistencies in the coach’s approach—another form of business coach manipulating.

Additionally, I observed some clients discussing very private situations with the coach. She positioned herself as their savior and guide, generating gratitude that made it difficult for them to leave despite not seeing tangible business results. Don’t get me wrong, she actually helped them in this area, but that is exactly the trick of business coach manipulating. It is creating this sense of gratitude that makes it hard to see the bad things.

Red Flag #5 – Resistance and Bullying When Attempting to Leave

Exit Barriers: Business Coach Manipulating Through Guilt and Pressure

When I decided to exit the program, the true nature of business coach manipulating was revealed. The coach’s response was essentially bullying, attempting to make me feel bad about my decision to leave.

She sent messages saying things like: “You got a taste of it in the strategy call and still chose to move forward so that might be something to reflect on” and “I can feel your energetic anger behind this message, and I know how easy it is to tap into that anger to intimidate people.”

She even tried to guilt me by saying: “I am a real person, not a machine. I can feel your energetic anger behind this message” and signing off with “The real person who feels every ounce of the hate towards me,” when I had expressed no hate – only a desire to leave the program.

The coach insisted on holding me to a one-year commitment, initially refusing to let me cancel even though the invoices and “membership” section in the online platform stated otherwise. Now that I am writing about this business coach manipulating, it is so funny that there was no binding description of our cooperation. Cause I sure did not sign up for being bullied and manipulated.

This experience made me realize how many times she had subtly bullied people in the group space. Bullying can take many forms, and none of them are acceptable in a professional coaching relationship.

BTW, This article on Manipulators at Work shows another great example of how manipulation might look like in a workspace.

What True Mentorship (Without Business Coach Manipulating) Looks Like

In contrast to this experience, I discovered what genuine mentorship means – both through experiencing it and embodying it myself. I’m not afraid of your power. I expect it.

True mentorship isn’t about control or keeping anyone dependent. It’s about reverence for unique brilliance. When someone outgrows me by a million miles, I’ll be right there clapping the loudest. This isn’t just philosophy – it’s how I operate. In my spaces, business coach manipulating has no place. You don’t need to play small to belong. You don’t need to shrink to be supported. I want you big, wild, and unapologetic.

Jennifer Althoff was one person who showed me this was possible – who believed in me when I couldn’t fully see it myself. She embodies “profit through purpose,” which means earning through genuinely helping people succeed, not through manipulation or dependency. And I am proud to honor this approach myself.

But more importantly, this experience taught me how I want to show up. When working with clients one-on-one, they get my complete presence—no business coach manipulating tactics. In group settings, I hold nothing back. I provide what’s needed – whether that’s a full strategy session, a voice memo, or sometimes just holding space for someone’s expansion without centering myself in their success.

As Jenny & I say: “Some coaches are intimidated by your success. I’m not one of them.” Because true coaching is about expecting brilliance, not fearing it. It’s about creating space for expansion beyond what either party thought possible. That’s the standard I hold myself to – relationships rooted in reverence, not control or manipulation.

The Final Confirmation of Business Coach Manipulating

As a cherry on top of this experience, I later had a tarot reading with a new reader who was simply practicing. Without knowing the details of my situation, the cards revealed that I had been “manipulated by words” when entering the coaching space. The reading couldn’t determine if this was done with bad intentions, but confirmed that the coach had presented herself as “Crème de la Crème” without living up to that promise.

The cards’ advice? “Don’t get bullied. Trust your judgment. You have great judgment.” The reading also showed that I had everything needed for success already within me, but lacked emotional support from both the coach and my environment.

This validation from a complete stranger reinforced what I already knew deep down: when someone believes in you – even a stranger – it’s a sign to believe in yourself as well.

Frequently Asked Questions About Business Coach Manipulating

How much should a business coach cost?

While prices vary widely, what matters most isn’t the cost but whether the coach delivers real value without manipulation. A legitimate professional creates “profit through purpose” – earning by genuinely helping you succeed, not by creating dependency through business coach manipulating tactics.

What questions should I ask to avoid business coach manipulating?

• How do you track client information and progress?
• Can you share specific examples of how you’ve helped clients achieve the results you’re promising?
• How do you incorporate the methodologies you claim expertise in?
• Is there a written contract that specifies the coaching/mentoring relationship?
• What happens if I am not satisfied with the provided services?

Is it normal to feel worse after coaching interactions?

No. While constructive criticism may sometimes be uncomfortable, you should generally feel empowered and clearer after interactions with a coach. If you consistently feel diminished or confused, this is a red flag of business coach manipulating.

What are signs of business coach manipulating?

• They give attention only when you “play small”
• They subtly dismiss your achievements or expertise
• They create bonds over shared negative experiences
• They position themselves as the ultimate authority and don’t let anyone else step onto their stage
• They resist when you try to leave the relationship

Conclusion

Trusting Your Judgment: Protection Against Business Coach Manipulating

The five warning signs I’ve shared form a pattern of business coach manipulating that can be difficult to identify when you’re in the midst of it. I did not sign up for manipulation, but found myself subjected to it nevertheless.

A true professional sees their clients in their highest form – the version of themselves they might not be seeing yet. They want to help you become your unique self, like a raw crystal that’s perfect just as it is. They celebrate you and push you to be your best, even when that means telling you things you don’t want to hear but need to hear to rise into your highest expression.

I’m sharing this not to position myself as a victim, but to warn others of business coach manipulating tactics they might encounter. Remember, when a stranger believes in you, you should believe in yourself as well.

A little sidenote from me – the fact that a great coach is a great coach, does not necessarily mean, they are the right fit for you – right now or ever. Listen to your body when making big coaching or mentoring investments. The mind will only get you into trouble.

Ever experienced business coach manipulating? Message me or save this post for future reference – let’s stop normalizing this manipulation.

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